Tuesday, September 3, 2013


Taint me black, so I cannot see,
The malice that this world has come to be.
The apartheid that springs us apart.
The prejudice within our heart.

You the son of Adam and Eve,
Him, the unfortunate son of mischief?
Rid him from all, as you please
You, the superior, the carrier of his fetters key

I'm color-blind, I cannot see,
The difference between you and me.
The color of your skin,
Is the color of your sin?

I write you this poem of melancholy
You, the superior, the carrier of my fetters key
Neglect me not, in this wretched cage
Leave me not, on this scribbled page.

I'm color-blind, I cannot see,
Why you are better than me?
Is it the color of my skin?
Will that forever be my sin?

Monday, May 13, 2013

The Lonely

Lonely has become my new companion, it follows me as I sneak into the hollow sacks of my room, and seek refuge in my sheets. It taunts me in my dreams, bringing forth names of the long gone and faces of the disappeared. And as I wake from my tedious slumber, the lonely finds me in my tears, it haunts me and leaves cold trails along my cheeks. 
In attempt to salvage myself from this lingering despair, I shower to cleanse my body from vacancy, I am cleansed, I am cleansed from life, significance, importance. I am put forth into a world where my chest bears no importance to my fruitless surroundings. My sorrows are my sorrows alone, and my joy is to be encircled around.
 It needs no merit or wit to understand the nature of the human behavior. It is only natural that we human beings act in this derogatory and selfish manner. We tend to serve ourselves and bring joy to our hearts, even if it meant lending the hearts of others to the dismay. It is not love for others that keeps us kind and human, it is our love for recognition from others that make us charitable and graceful. We do not love one another because we have the other person’s interest in mind, we love one another because we need one another. Because we are selfish. Because we are self-centered. Because we are human.
 I reject my humanity, I reject being selfish, I reject being part of this generations population. I am what remains of love and selflessness, I am what remains of joy, I am what remains of divinity, I am what remains of love, and I am dying. I am dying. 

Wednesday, April 17, 2013


In the midst of darkness I call out to an old friend. I scream and cry his name out, but all I heard was silence. I don't mean the serene silence, no; I mean the empty silence. The silence that slowly pushes it's claws into your chest and rips your heart out, leaving you hallow, empty chested and alone. I force myself out of immobilization and search for him within the corners of my hallow chest. "Where are you?" I whisper quietly, afraid of awakening the demons within me. "I need you", my voice starts to fade. I pick up my pace and start running to every chamber, every vein, every pulse. He is no where to be found. I start digging through my own flesh in desperation, but this only infuriates my demons. They have awakened.

I run, and run, and run, but I can't seem to escape them. Suddenly, images of my dark past surrounds me. My demons have found me, and they begin to torture me. Demons of my dark past, I have put them into slumber for so long, but now that he's gone, the drugs begin to wear out, and my demons become stronger and stronger. They control me, they wound me. Where are you? Please, I need you here. You can't leave, you just can't. I give in to the past that has been haunting me, I give in to misery, and I give up on his return.

I spent months living in dismay, I fed on my own flesh and drank from my own blood till I drained myself from life. I have become empty, silent. I have become a mute, deafened by the screeches of my demons, and blinded by the tears of injustice that I've wept. I have changed into a person that I hate, I have changed into a ghost, a monster, a demon. And now, I haunt him. 

Sunday, October 28, 2012


 On a gloomy day such as this,
As hurricane sandy approaches the east coast to devour all that comes in its way
I rest on a wet bench and stare at the wrinkly leaves that embellish the pavements of Penn State
I look closely as the wind crumbles the leaves and rips them off their mother tree,
And I wonder,
I wonder where will their final destination be?
I wonder if they'll travel miles and miles before they disappear
I wonder if they'll reach you
Maybe, these very leaves will cross your path someday
I close my eyes, and fight your memory
And then I ponder,
I ponder upon my lost dreams,
I ponder upon my lost hope,
I ponder upon my lost self,
And then I think of you,
And I wonder, do I ever cross your mind?
Are somewhere out there sitting on a wet bench
Thinking of me too, wondering and pondering?
I miss you

Shaima Abdulla